Before now, men hardly ventured near the labour room. Then, the
farthest men could go was the passageway leading to the labour room.
They could be pacing up and down the passage, trying to peep or
eavesdrop through the door, but going into the labour room was not
common.
Men then were prevented from hearing
the cries of pain of their wives and would rather be sent on errands
all in a bid to shut them out of the labour process.
But now, the presence of men in the labour room is almost becoming a symbol of love.
To many women these days, childbirth is painful and the man’s
presence in the labour room is like a reassurance that the couple are in
it together. Some men also believe watching their wives delivered of
their babies is aside being seen as emotional contributions and support,
a proof of love.
However, as fashionable and contemporary as it is now, some medical
experts have warned that men witnessing their wives having babies are
more likely to have reduced sexual drive, also known as libido.
A French obstetrician, Dr. Michel Odent, said men should stay out of
the delivery room so as to continue to have a healthy sex life with the
woman. He explained that men have always seen the vagina as a sex organ
and that they may find it uninteresting if the same organ is being used
for non-sexual activity. Thus, staying away from the labour room would
invariably help the man’s sexual life.
“The sexual risk is that men will not be able to remain sexually
attracted to a woman after seeing her vagina used for non sexy jobs,
like childbirth,” he said.
In a survey by Netmums, a parenting website, it was revealed that
couples make love less than they did before they had children. The
survey noted that witnessing the trauma of childbirth, coupled with the
toll it takes on the woman’s body could have a devastating impact on a
man and his approach to sex.
According to some scientists, in spite of the fact that it takes some
time for a woman to get her sex drive back after childbirth, the trauma
men have and their thought about what happened during the delivery if
they were there, especially seeing how big the vagina could be, could
reduce sexual activity between the couple because the man might feel
irritated.
Odent shared his experience with Daily Mail. The medical
expert who said he had been involved in childbirth for 50 years in
hospitals in United Kingdom and France, also pointed out that apart from
the reduced sexual drive, men witnessing childbirth could slow down
labour and that the trauma of watching such a woman could trigger a type
of post-natal depression in men.
He said, “Having been involved in childbirth for 50 years, and having
been in charge of 15,000 births with the father’s presence or absence, I
have reached a conclusion that there is little good for a couple’s
sexual life in having a man at the birth of a child.
“When men first started standing at their partner’s side during
labour, I remember my mother’s generation saying that the couple’s
intimate life would be ruined as a result.
“And, given that the key to eroticism is a degree of mystery, I am
left believing they had a point. There are many things we do in private
in order to preserve a degree of modesty and mystery. And, for the
benefit of our sex lives, it may be worth adding childbirth to this
list.
“Of course, this is not the case for all men, but it seems without
doubt that some men are at risk of being unwell or depressed due to
having seen their partners labour.
“Also, for the woman, his presence is a hindrance, and a significant
factor in why labours are longer, more painful and more likely to result
in intervention than ever. I have noticed that the more the man
participates in the birth process, the worse his wife’s labour has been
and the higher the risks of post-natal symptoms are.”
Findings show that men are not always pleased with the changes that
happen to some women’s body, such as scars from Caesarean, for those who
had it, saggy stomachs, increased nipple size, sagging breasts, and the
thought of seeing the woman’s expanded sexual organ.
According to Odent, other reasons why men should not be present in
the labour room include the fact that a woman in labour needs to be in a
private world, whereas a word of advice or encouragement from the man
could draw her out of the quiet moment that she needs to focus.
He said, “A labouring woman needs to be protected against any
stimulation of the thinking part of her brain – the neocortex – for
labour to proceed with any degree of ease. This part of the brain needs
to take the back seat and allow the primal ‘unthinking’ part of the
brain connected to basic vital functions to take over.
“She needs to be in a private world where she doesn’t have to think
or talk. Yet, motivated by a desire to share the experience, the man
asks questions and offers words of reassurance and advice. In doing so,
he denies his partner the quiet mind that she needs.
“The second reason is that the father’s release of the stress hormone
adrenaline as he watches his partner labour causes her anxiety, and
prevents her from relaxing. And the release of adrenaline is contagious.
This is apart from some men being aggressive.
“It has been proven that it is physically impossible to be in a
complete state of relaxation if there is an individual standing next to
you who is tense and full of adrenaline.
“The effect of this is that, with a man present, a woman cannot be as
relaxed as she needs to be during labour, hence, the process becomes
longer and more difficult. We must keep in mind that mammals cannot
release oxytocin – the key hormone in childbirth – when they are also
being influenced by the stressful effects of hormones of the adrenaline
family.
“That is why the moment he leaves the room, the baby arrives. The
truth is that without him there, the woman is finally able to relax into
labour in a way that speeds up delivery.”
Meanwhile, a survey by Oxford University showed that men were “deeply
affected” by difficult births, with some experiencing subsequent
depression and post-traumatic stress disorder.
Reacting to the study, a psychologist, Prof. Oni Fagboungbe, said as
much as childbirth could reduce a woman’s sexual drive, witnessing it
could also reduce the man’s libido, but that identifying each other’s
erogenous zones would be a good way to revive their sexual drive. He
noted that the level of irritation differs between men and women.
He said, “For example, when a man witnesses childbirth and sees how
wide the organ is, he could be irritated and that may possibly reduce
his sexual drive. However, if the wife is able to identify the man’s
erogenous zone and fiddles with it, the man’s sexual drive may be
revived instantly.
“There are many factors involved when it comes to sexual stimulation.
Men and women have different areas where they are sexually sensitive
and it varies from person to person. When such area is triggered in
either the woman who gives birth or the man that is present, their
sexual desire will likely be triggered.
