According to relationship writer Joanna Schroeder,
dating a guy or being married to a man who used to be friends with
alcohol could teach you one or two things about making choices.
Schroeder
says many sober guys are struggling or depressed, but a large portion
of them are just regular, awesome guys who don't drink or use drugs.
Some are serious, some are religious, and some aren't; some are silly,
outgoing, athletic, adventurous, and upbeat. But the truth is, guys who
are solidly sober and living a healthy life are just as diverse as guys
who drink.
Here are the reasons according to Schroeder why sober guys make the best partners for women:
They're brave:
Imagine if you'd lived a large part of your life one way, and then
suddenly had to give up the thing you depended upon most. Imagine if
your long-standing set of habits had to be thrown out the window
entirely and you had to live a whole new life. That's what your sober
crush has done, and that's brave as hell. To believe, to hope, that life
will get better if you make super tough choices and follow through with
them basically makes your sober guy a superhero.
They're strong:
Maybe you want a guy who's strong enough to pick you up and carry you
up to the bedroom in a moment of passion, move heavy furniture, or open
pickle jars for you. That's all fine and good, but when it comes to
strength I think the hottest way someone can be strong is from within
their soul. And what's stronger than working your ass off to grow into
the person you want to be? To find a tiny seed of strength inside
yourself during your darkest moments, and cultivate it so you can live a
healthier life and be more responsible? What's stronger than looking in
the face of your demon and saying, "No thanks"? Pretty much nothing.
They know how to ask for help:
You know that stereotype about guys, where they'd rather drive around
for hours than ask for directions? Well, even though we now have Google
Maps to tell us how to get places, guys are still taught that to be a
"real man," they need to be solitary, strong, and never ask for help.
Sober guys know that pretending everything is fine doesn't work for
them. So, while I can't guarantee that your sober guy will ask for
directions when you're lost, I'd be willing to bet he'll ask for
emotional support when he needs it.
You won't be their only outlet for venting:
Because typical masculinity is stoic and solitary in our society, lots
of guys have trouble with emotionally intimate friendships with other
guys. This is sad for guys, and can be a huge burden on their partners.
If we, as women, are the only outlets for their feelings and
frustrations, sometimes we start to feel like their emotional waste
bins, instead of their lovers. But many sober guys have found a network
of support where they can vent and share their feelings. For many, that
outlet is AA or NA, but other sober guys may have a therapist, clergy
member, or a group of other like-minded people to rely upon when times
are tough. Think of it like your guy's very own superhero agency.
Avengers assemble!
They can drive you home from parties:
Let's be clear here: your sober partner probably has as much interest
in hanging out with your drunk ass as he does poking himself in the eye
with a hot fire iron. But every once in a while, if you've enjoyed a
glass of wine at dinner or a couple of beers at a barbecue, your sober
partner is someone you'll be especially grateful to have around to drive
you safely home. Just never abuse this privilege. You, and only you,
are responsible for your drinking. Don't be a creep who takes advantage
of your sober guy. He's not your personal taxi.
The person they are at a party is the same guy the next day:
We've all met a guy who was fun, flirty, and had a great sense of humor
when he was buzzed at a bar or party, but the next day he was a cold,
stand-offish jerk. That, my friends, probably won't happen with a sober
guy. He's doesn't use booze as a crutch to be fun at parties, so the guy
you meet at 11pm will be the same guy you meet for brunch at 11am.
They won't make weekend mornings miserable with their hangover:
I don't know about you, but I love to make the most of my weekends.
When I dated guys who drank a lot, weekend mornings were spent
tip-toeing around, trying not to wake the hungover bear. Nowadays, my
hunky sober husband is up early, packing bikes or surfboards into his
truck, and getting ready for a day of fun and adventure. This is an
especially attractive trait when you have kids. Daddy gets up early,
makes breakfast, and is happy to be the tickle-monster to happy toddlers
who are squealing with joy.
They won't use being drunk as an excuse for crappy behavior:
Your sober guy understands that there's no excuse for being a jerk or
making bad decisions — not even alcohol. So as long as you're with him,
you'll probably never hear him laugh off a hookup with another woman or a
reckless spending spree with the excuse, "Honey, I was drunk!" Also,
he'll know where he parked his car after a late night out, and will
remember the name of the woman who wakes up next to. Now, don't you hope
that's going to be you?
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Title : For couples only: 8 reasons why ex-alcoholics make the best husbands
Description : According to relationship writer Joanna Schroeder , dating a guy or being married to a man who used to be friends with alcohol could te...
